showing off

When I think, that people argue bullshit everyday to suffer another eight hours in order to make some money, which is not really equivalent to how much they’ve pushed the civilization forward, then to squander those money into something, which pathetically mankind cannot enjoy naturally because they are mankind, for example, following the lane back and forth in swimming pools, or moving Z-shaped to the mountain top, to use the sticks poke the soil and show off that they love nature. But nature is just there. It does not love back. It does not care. When would human beings don’t care and stop showing off?

Day-off and reading day

Having one day-off because of the wisdom teeth op yesterday, yet still have logged in the work pc and checked Emails and schedules for next week for trying to be a quasi workaholic 😉

I have started the book Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea for a while already, today moving forward. It was written by american journalist Barbara Demick, who has reported extensively the North Korean refugees and defectors.

It goes slowly today actually since I have searched so many relevant stories and documentaries online, to have a more concrete impression and to feel the feelings in a closer way.

In 2012, Chinese media have surprisingly post and reported a real story about North Korean defector family, who broke through the Japanese embassy in Shenyang, China for political asylum 10 years ago. This showed that the attitude of China to North Korean refugees had turned into a brighter or more humanistic way. (link: http://bbs.tianya.cn/post-no04-1918321-1.shtml)

I watched Joseph Kim’s TED talk. The white audiences were so touched and were giving standing ovation. To be honest, many times I am still confused by the motivation of spreading, obeying human rights, and sometimes, controlling others’ life for an observance. I didn’t say it is a wrong thing. I can not deny that lots of people are helping based on moral principles or because of a bigger word LOVE. But LOVE is too big. Does political correctness lead to love? or does love lead to political correctness? Or there’s nothing, people just do it because it is something correct. But who has ever really defined correctness?

Someone would say I am too naive. No correctness, no rules. I have then to sadly admit that there are the rules in utopia world.

 

The song at the boundary

I’m comin’ home, I’ve done my time
Now I’ve got to know what is and isn’t mine
If you received my letter telling you I’d soon be free
Then you’ll know just what to do if you still want me
If you still want me

Whoa, tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree
It’s been three long years, do you still want me? (still want me)
If I don’t see a ribbon ’round the old oak tree
I’ll stay on the bus, forget about us, put the blame on me
If I don’t see a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree

Bus driver, please look for me
‘Cause I couldn’t bear to see what I might see
I’m really still in prison and my love, she holds the key
A simple yellow ribbon’s what I need to set me free
I wrote and told her please

Whoa, tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree
It’s been three long years, do you still want me? (still want me)
If I don’t see a ribbon ’round the old oak tree
I’ll stay on the bus, forget about us, put the blame on me
If I don’t see a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree

Now the whole damn bus is cheerin’ and I can’t believe I see

A hundred yellow ribbons ’round the old oak tree
I’m comin’ home, umm-hmm

(Tie a ribbon ’round the old oak tree)
(Tie a ribbon ’round the old oak tree)
(Tie a ribbon ’round the old oak tree)
(Tie a ribbon ’round the old oak tree)

(Tie a ribbon ’round the old oak tree)
(Tie a ribbon ’round the old oak tree)
(Tie a ribbon ’round the old oak tree)
(Tie a ribbon ’round the old oak tree)

 

Note on “Letters on Wave Mechanics”

I am reading the book “Letters on Wave Mechanics” which collects the correspondences among H.A. Lorentz, Max Plank, Erwin Schroedinger and Albert Einstein.

One part in a letter, which was written by Schroedinger to Plank, reveals the fact that why I did not choose quantum optics as my specialization in my master study, which I knew for long already.

The concept “energy” is something that we have derived from macroscopic experience and really only from macroscopic experience. I don not believe that it can be taken over into micro-mechanics just like that, so that one may speak of the energy of a single partial oscillation. The energetic property of the individual partial oscillation is its frequency. Its amplitude must be determined in quite another way – I believe by normalizing the integral of the square of the total excitation to the value of the electronic charge. 

The professor of Max Plank once tried to persuade Plank not to take Physics as his major and said to him: “In dieser Wissenschaft schon fast alles erforscht sei, und es gelte, nur noch einige unbedeutende Lücken zu schließen.” (In this study almost everything has been researched already, and there is only some unimportant gaps left to be filled.) And Plank answered: “Ich hege nicht den Wunsch, Neuland zu entdecken, sondern lediglich, die bereits bestehenden Fundamente der physikalischen Wissenschaft zu verstehen, vielleicht auch noch zu vertiefen.” (I do not have the desire to discover a new land. I only want to understand the existing foundations of physical science and perhaps even to deepen it.)

The fact is, the micro world is way too sophisticated for me to understand. I don’t have such spirit to deepen the already too abstract foundations. I don’t have interest and I don’t think I would have the ability to seek infinitesimal in infinitesimal. The micro-theories make the world be more “the true, the good, the beautiful”. The macro-handling deals with the civilization level of a society, in a more superficial way.

读《胡适留学日记》第一卷札记

昨日读完胡适先生的留学日记第一卷,有几个地方有点儿意思。

其一是这个宴字的用法。胡适在日记中经常使用“宴起”,“宴睡”。这个宴字看着就舒服,结构上下平衡,左右相称。读音也软软的,没有棱角。遂查文言文字典查找它的准确意思:

详细释义
yàn
①<动>快乐。《左传·成公二年》:“衡父不忍数年之不。”
②<形>安闲。《雁荡山》:“雁荡经行云漠漠,龙湫坐雨濛濛。”
③<动>以酒肉款待宾客。《醉翁亭记》:“山肴野蔌,杂然而前陈者,太守也。”
④<名>宴席。司马光《训俭示康》:“闻喜独不戴花。”
【宴安】安逸;舒适。
【宴尔】安乐幸福,亦喻新婚之禧。
【宴居】闲居。

有意思。在脑海里已经有整个语境的大概概念,但是如果单提出这个字本身,根本没有能力去解释单个字。然而如果看了注释,会发现官方解释确实就是自己所理解的那个意思。我觉得这就是自小对语感的积累而产生的效果,也是非母语者最难攻破的一个点——按照感觉说话,按照感觉理解。而非母语者学习外语的方法很多就是抠字眼,比如去一个个字查,这个宴是什么意思,然后一二三条解释,记下来,背,可能再背个例句。可是没有感觉,白搭,学得太慢。

忽然恍然大悟。

再举个书中的例子:

八月十一日(星五)

上课。下午晤Brown君夫妇。此君夫妇皆尝至吾国,……

结合语境,就是说这对Brown夫妇之前都来过我们的国家呗。可是这个尝字单拿出来要怎么翻译?查字典,尝作为副词就是曾经的意思,比如“未尝”,“何尝”。这些词都很常见,但是用得时候根本没有意识到每个单字有怎样的意思。

 

其二。胡适在1911年6月4号写到:

温德文。德文之“主有位”(Genitive Case)甚有趣,汉文“之”字座主有位时亦与此同,他日拟广此意为作“之”字说。

嗯。在美国康奈尔农学院留学的胡适不仅经常手伴英文书,也经常“夜读德文”。我觉得可以在各种语言中将语义用法等融会贯通的人就是真的语言天才。品作者的这句话时非常有成就感。有时候真的觉得多会一门语言,就打开了一个新的世界这话太对了。读到此时为自己会德语而感到庆幸。

近日读书札记

今天在下班回家的堵车途中读完了徐志摩的《致陆小曼》。

我看书一向是“一推一”,就是说书中作者提到哪些有意思的东西,我就会有兴趣去找相关书籍看一看。或者作者描述了其他作家的某些有意思的作品,我也会直接记下来之后搜索。比如Alan de Botton的《旅行的艺术》中第七部分“令人眼界大开的艺术”中提到梵高与普罗旺斯的故事,我便之后读了一本收集了梵高写给他弟弟Theo书信的自传《亲爱的提奥》;比如我看了Maugham的《阅读是一座随身携带的避难所》。书中描绘了许多作家当年的八卦轶事,看后决定看一看蒙田随笔。当然,还没有时间来读。(可读的书实在是太多了。)

《致陆小曼》最后“眉轩琐语”部分有这么一段:

适之游庐山三日,作日记数万言,这一个“勤”字亦自不易。他说看了江西内地,得一感想,女性的丑简直不是个人样,尤其是金连三寸,男性造孽,真是无从说起,此后须由一大改变才又新机:要从一把女性当牛马的文化转成一男性自愿为女性作牛马的文化。适之说男人应尽力赚出钱来为女人打扮,我说这话太革命性了。邹恩润都怕有些不敢刊入名言录了!

所以这位适之先生变成为我下一个要研究的对象。是什么样的男性会在那个年代可以有如此思想?

为了可以更方便更便宜地下载到他的一系列书,之前一直为办不办kindle包月而犹豫的我立马准备开通kindle unlimited。谁知经常给我推送广告的这项服务居然不对海外ip开放。无奈又是一顿折腾,在网上找可以翻墙回国的vpn。捣鼓了一个晚上,终于偶然发现了一个管用的vpn,心惊胆战地连上,祈祷不要断线,这才把这项服务注册好。开通后马上下载了十本胡适的书,把借阅极限填满。

其中一本的自序这样写到:

我自己的文学主张,思想演变,都写成札记,用作一种“自言自语的思想草稿”(thinking aloud)。我自己发现这种思想草稿很有益处,就不肯寄给怡荪,留作我自己省察的参考,因此我对于这种札记发生了很大的兴趣,所以无论怎么忙,我每天总要腾出一点工夫来写札记,有时候一天可以写几千字。

我从自己的经验里得到一个道理,曾用英文写出来:

Expression is the most effective means of appropriating impressions. 

译成中国话就是:

要使你所得印象变成你自己的,最有效的法子是记录或表现成文章。

嗯,看到这里已然很合胃口了!

 

另,这几天同时另外看的一本书是伊坂幸太郎的《一首小夜曲》。所以写此篇blog的背景音乐便是莫扎特的Eine kleine Nachtmusik.

 

老情人朋友

 

豆瓣fm居然给我推荐梁朝伟+李宇春版的《十年》,真是奇怪的组合。

不过也由于是不熟悉的声音唱熟悉的歌曲,所以才注意到歌词。(不然只会只注意到旋律)

不假,许多歌曲的歌词都是阅历越深越能品出来,前提是作词者阅历比听歌者阅历丰富,这是必须的。

这两天和sbp讨论gopro的事情,又把之前在马赛宿舍拍的延时视频拿出来看。最近真的特别想念马赛……还有马赛的人。

我在2014年夏末初秋来到马赛,六个月之后就搬到德国。一直到现在在德国毕业后依旧留在这里。我在马赛住在火车站对面大学里学校分配的宿舍楼。宿舍楼很大很高,一面靠山,一面临海。每一层的公共阳台则在海山之间。我和他在这个阳台上度过过很多个晚上。他抽烟,烟就在海、山、星星之间转。海上还有船,即使在黑夜里,有时也会有船笛的声音。宿舍很小,阳台很冷,却有很多个值得怀念的日子。

我搬离马赛之前的那个晚上,我们故作轻松发信息。谁知道其实他就在外面阳台上抽烟。我看到他后说 挺冷的,你回家吧。他说好。

今晚偶然听到《十年》,发现歌词贴切得很。

怀抱既然不能逗留
何不在离开的时候
一边享受 一边泪流
再也找不到拥抱的理由
情人最后难免变为朋友


					

然后我就一个人了

周六一早在比上班略晚的一点的起床时间醒来(7点多一点),睡了个迷迷瞪瞪的回笼觉。睡到实在睡不着的时候,起床,洗澡。打开音乐,是California Dreaming。

我在纸上写下今天要去超市买的食品:


鸡蛋
土豆
黄瓜
鸡肉
速食
水果
饮料

 

前段时间读山本文绪的《然后,我就一个人了》,此时深有共鸣。

我大概不算是恐婚主义者,更算不上仇婚。只是如果有一天我选择和另一个人一起生活,一定需要很大的勇气去说服自己放弃这般软塌塌的生活。

开网 久更博客

大多数人都认为电话客服是个十分枯燥的职业。

可是在周五的晚上10点钟,这位1und1公司的技术接线员接待一个把路由器设置错误、说着笨拙的德语、因为已经没有网一个月之久而变得火急火燎的我的时候,当他十分耐心一步一步引导我排除故障并重新设置设备的时候,当最后一步完成他让我随便点个网页看是否有网的时候,当我在电话里欢快的跟他说太好了终于有网了的时候,他说:Das ist was ich hören will!!!

这份成就感让我觉得这份工作没那么差。

我很想记住他的名字并且再次感谢他,可是在电话里记住德国人的名字对我来说可能永远不可能吧。。。