不强迫是美德

不知不觉这一本摘抄本已经用了很多了。前一段时间看完了黑塞的《孤独者之歌》,很喜欢这本书,尤其是最后几页,虽然他的语气平平淡淡,但却掷地有声,一字一句都砸在心坎儿里。由于当时着急还书,没有把需要记下的抄写下来,只是简单地拿手机照了一下。今天注意到照片,终于把最后几页的内容誊到了本上:

感觉上黑塞确实受东方文化影响很深,他很在意在两极之间寻找平衡。但是他说他到老也没能找到极致的中庸之道,我想应该是他对自己太苛刻了,好在他一直在努力着,把这一目标当做推动他的源泉。我崇敬这样的大师,因为他总是在从外界汲取,而不是热衷指点他人 。如果自己有什么想法,就在心里消化,或者写出来,让想了解的人了解,而不是强迫他人也接受这样的观点。这是我喜欢的状态。

其实就在今晚,又有人因为一些事企图说服我,说我不应该固执,要对别人敞开心扉,起因就是他说改天一起吃饭或者喝咖啡什么的,我说不想去,他说你是讨厌我还是什么,我说就是最近不想见人。我说的都是实话,我没有讨厌这个人,也没有针对他,但是我需要有一段时间完全不去见没必要非要现在见的人。我跟他解释了好久,我说我就是这样,你得让我喘口气。其实我认识这个人不超过三个月,我不爽的是首先他又是跟大多数人一样,随意借着自己的判断来评价别人、给别人定性。二是,他非要强迫我接受他的意见,就是我需要改变,我需要更温和地接受他人的好意。我靠,大哥,哪儿跟那儿啊,您哪位啊!!!

所以我特喜欢我遇到过的那些跟我说“我不懂,但是我理解你(的某种行为)”的人,并从心底感激他们。尽管有一部分确实因为某种差异而变得有些疏远,但是这是我完全可以接受的。世上人千千万,总有人跟你不在一个轨道上,而因此而产生的距离之美也是很奇妙的事情。相反,那些使尽十八般武艺把你拉过来抱着你自转公转的人,看似给了你最好的保护,但是,我靠,没有“看似”好么,想想就鸡皮疙瘩掉一地

102 thoughts on “不强迫是美德

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