早间惊魂和午间惊魂

yihm在看了我上一篇博客之后问我:你不会又有男朋友了吧。。。不知道为什么他这么问,好像我对于找男朋友这件事很在行?其实并没有吧。

不过这一篇其实跟男,朋,友(前)也是有一点点关系的。姑且管这位前男友叫Z吧。

今天早晨跟这些年来数不清的北京冬天的早晨一样,雾霾笼罩着大地,窗帘外面的世界阴森森的,透不进来一点阳光。自从我换了宜家的闹钟,而不再使用手机当闹钟之后,我经常睡过头,因为新闹钟没有“再响一次”的功能。也不知道这个设计该不该称为“人性化”。于是七点钟闹钟响过之后,我再次睁眼的时候已经七点半了。窗外并没有按照常规表现出已经七点半的模样——依旧昏沉,让人感觉时间仍旧停留在佛晓时分。眼睛得不到足够光线的刺激,怎么也睁不开。于是我赖在床上刷微博。看见Z的头像,准备点进去浏览一番。在他的微博里又看到他艾特了现女友,于是又点进了他现女友的微博。直到那时我还在混沌之中,不知道是在梦里,还是在真切地一步步走向深渊。他的女友发着正常女孩发的那些微博。我揉着眼睛打着哈气往下翻。忽然停在一条微博下(由于之后的惊吓我现在早已忘了是哪条微博),让眼睛使劲聚焦,模模糊糊地看完那些字后觉得,说的有道理啊。于是,我点了个赞。

就在那一瞬间我脱口而出:“我操”。眼睛瞬间睁大,身体一机灵,脑子开始十分清醒地运转和思索着:我他妈的在干什么?紧接着的0.001秒,我又点了点赞的那个地方,取消了赞。可是,天知道她会不会收到我的。。。其实真的可以称之为由衷的。。。赞美。我给洋洋发微信,我说,我操完蛋了。其实我真的不怎么骂人,只是,慌张之中我必须靠一些语气词来安抚自己。我跟他说了前因后果,他看了我的微博后截图给我,说,你的赞里没有那一条,取消了之后对方应该就不会收到了吧。无论如何,这样都显得太鬼鬼祟祟了。可是偷窥前男友的现女友的微博确实不是什么光明正大的事。况且……如果被发现,被嘲笑是脑残前女友的话,就更让我无地自容了。我会这么想,是因为如果我碰到这种事:发现前男友的现女友或者现男友的前女友无意中给我点了个赞这种事,我一定会觉得对方是个蠢家伙。可是我又觉得我不该这么折磨自己。我应该乐观而侥幸地认为她永远不会发现。好吧,那就这样吧。只是,后遗症还是要有的:我以后再也不会在不清醒的时候碰触任何社交软件了!

 

中午的时候在costa。对面坐了两个人。两位男士。其实他们刚进来的时候我就觉得有些怪异。因为明明我旁边有桌子有座位,他们非要费力把桌子椅子搬到那个犄角旮旯去,虽然离我也并不远,但是那儿是个可以不被大多数人直接看到的地方。这两个人中一位是中老年人,一位看上去跟我年龄差不多。我愉快地品着伯爵茶,一边低头和洋洋发微信。突然我听到:“来跟我说说,这一周怎么样,有没有乖啊~~~”是那个年轻男人说出的话。我迅速在微信对话框里跟洋洋说:我操。洋洋同学大概一天到晚都被我折磨的心惊肉跳的,问我,又怎么了。于是我给他叙述了我眼前的一切:情侣鞋、摸脸、轻吻、爱抚、打情骂俏、娇嗔的“你是不是吃醋了”。。。远在大洋彼岸的洋洋说,你又有素材可写了。我心想,可不是嘛!我怎么竟遇上怪事。

显然我曾经觉得,作为这个每天都在更新的社会中的新新人类,我已经够新潮够包容的了,可是亲眼见到这种老少同性恋在公共场合做不那么妥帖的事还是让我觉得不很习惯。洋洋说,这个世界不正常的人太多了。他是在顺着我的话说。可是我又在以一种我现在都有点厌烦的超级客观超级圣母的理由反驳他:每个人眼中正常与不正常的标准是不同的。他说:那这样说吧,咱们还是常规点。我想,这么说还行得通。

后来,我实在受不了那两个男人互相撒娇的声音,只坐了一会儿,就快步走出去了。可能社会再进步一些,这种行为会不再令当事人或旁观者感到羞愧。至少,点前男友的现女友赞这种事要比它丢脸的多……………………

114 thoughts on “早间惊魂和午间惊魂

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