有感于霍乱时期的爱情

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几天前开始看《霍乱时期的爱情》，刚刚才读完。在豆瓣把“想读”换成“已读”的时候，看见篇书评，完完全全能概括出现在的感受：

“真的是看得出离愤怒了，在看100页的时候，我觉得他会在后300页给我惊喜；看到200页时，我觉得后面一半一定让人不忍释手；到还剩40页时我都对它抱有希望。看完真心想扔掉。”

直到昨天才看了一半，每读五十页就抱着后五十页一定有高潮的想法，今天一直在抽空努力看完——去给longweiz取德意志银行证明的路上一直在看，晚上看费纳第三十三次对决的时候也在看，还为此丢掉了几个好球的镜头——结果失望一个五十页接着一个五十页的到来。我甚至以为费尔明娜就是当年“强奸”了男主角阿里萨的人，幻想着作者能造出比这个更令人叹为观止的结局，想着自己大吃一惊地叹服“原来是这样”的画面，结果满怀希望一直看到最后一页，还是落到了完全没有共鸣的“一生一世”上。

单说故事问题。我不知道为什么许多电影或者书籍都在以各种不那么合适形式和题材来标榜爱情。是不是只是因为爱情是最卖座的主题就要不惜一切代价把编出花儿的故事来往上靠，以迎合各类人群的喜好，再去轻描淡写地虚构出另一段故事来抹去这段主体故事中不那么体面的一面，或者连这步都省了，就像这本书一样。也许作者是在隐喻人性方面的问题，但可惜许多人只看到了书皮上被修饰的主语——“爱情”，妄想“我们可以老了再相爱”，难道人人都是男神心中的费尔明娜？多数人只是那些数不清的情人中的一把炮灰罢了。况且，阿里萨的所作所为实在让人倒胃口，他的心里已经畸形了。他通过不断折磨自己来让自己和对方明白自己的爱和付出，这本身就是一种情感绑架。我能感受到年轻的费尔明娜对这种束缚的嗤之以鼻，实在惋惜她在暮年的就范。我宁愿更相信这是小说需要，不能入戏太深。有的人理解不到，费尔明娜到底是何德何能能让阿里萨迷成这样。但我可以想象一个男人处在这种自我折磨中的处境，那已经和费尔明娜、和爱情无关了，而是自己想征服自己的一种极端体现，他在自己想象中的世界里和对手厮杀，又被臆想中的困难打倒，永远钻不出牛角尖，女主角和所谓的爱情只是一个代号而已。

仅仅因为“我拥有一份全世界最伟大的爱”就可以为所欲为吗？这是许多虚构或非虚构情节中我最不齿的段落。我向来不相信长久的爱情，激情总会被平淡和消退的新鲜感带走，日久境迁之后剩下的是责任和习惯。但是如果连短暂的所谓的爱情都呵护不好，为了发泄自己的苦闷把伤害别人当做乐趣，这人活得就太猥琐了。加西亚在书中这样描写这类人：

世上的人分两种，会勾搭的和不会勾搭的。他（指弗洛伦蒂诺.阿里萨）不信任后面这种人：他们一旦越轨，便觉得这件事太不可思议，于是四处炫耀爱情，就好像那时他们刚刚发明出来似的。而经常做这种事的人恰恰相反，他们活着就是为了这个。他们感觉良好，也守口如瓶，因为知道谨言慎行是性命攸关的大事。他们从不谈论自己的丰功伟绩，也不向任何人吐露秘密，反而装出一副对这种事漠不关心的样子，以致常常招来性无能、性冷淡，甚至不男不女的名声，就像弗洛伦蒂诺.阿里萨这样。但他们乐意将错就错，因为这种误解同样也能保护他们。他们是秘而不宣的共济会组织，全世界的成员都能认出彼此，根本不需要讲同一种语言。

猥琐在于这类人总是在猎取，把更多不明就里的性本善的人拉下水，共济会组织日益壮大。我费解的是，为何他们从来都不懂内部消化。可能“内部消化”有悖“会勾搭”的本意吧。

电影里经常有这种桥段：某个主角在有另一半的情况下在某个地点偶遇了一个异性，顿时产生了“这才是一生挚爱”的想法，就在ta被道德和冲动束缚，纠结是否应该喜新厌旧的时候（或者已经把喜新厌旧付诸行动），往往编剧会把ta的原配也给设计出轨了。这样观众就会皆大欢喜地想，这才是真爱啊，真是个happy ending！

我很理解类似“出轨”或者“移情别恋”这种想法。我觉得这是一种爱的本能，不必扣上太大的帽子。但是，这绝对不是宣扬爱的伟大的手法。何况，通过牺牲别人来达到这样的目的显得很窝囊。不是爱得天崩地裂吗？又何必虚伪地在乎那些在你们眼里不能称之为爱的感情呢——拉垫背的也拉得太残忍了吧！

刚开始看这本书的时候，里面有这么一句话，我记到了手机备忘簿上，等着看完这段可歌可泣的故事之后来温存一下。作者是这么说的：“作为一个仍处在那孤独中的灵魂，他坚信自己比世界上任何一个人都默默爱得更深。” 多么美的一句话啊。可是现在我只想说，请继续默默得深下去吧，请继续意淫吧，你因为怕孤独而非要选择孤独，那就继续自娱自乐吧——没那么多人陪你玩儿。

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